One has often heard counsellors or family members or well-wishers suggesting that those couples having troubles in their marriage should try and have a child to ease out their differences or issues. I would always wonder it is quite a risky advice – how can you decide to have a child when all is not well between the two in the first place? What if things get worse? Two people were already suffering in a claustrophobic situation, why welcome some one else into your private misery? And especially a child, who will hardly understand what is going on. And then get bruised and scarred for life.
Now, finally I am hardly a month away from holding the child in my hand – pinching myself that it actually happened – that the growing belly was actually carrying a child inside and that the child is finally fully alive and now very much a part of our life. Just yesterday, I was asking my husband if he could really believe how far we have come together that we are going to be parents now. And he admitted that he found it equally surreal. That he was still to experience his own feelings to the fullest. But in that moment, while we were discussing it; I felt something else – something targeted more towards him than the child. I felt ‘love’ – ‘love’ of the kind I had forgotten existed between the two of us.
Me and him have a long history together – seven years of courtship, one year of engagement and another two years of marriage. And somehow we have still managed to be in love. But what I feel for him lately, is a step further ahead. It is a stronger feeling, the one I haven’t experienced in a long time. And certainly never felt for anyone else. It is ‘love’ indeed. But it is much more special. I suddenly feel it is a step further ahead. It feels like the universe has conspired for us to share something that is exclusively ours and no-one else can ever enter that space between the two of us. And that it is something that is going to be permanent, not momentary. And our child, would be that stele above, giving validation and identity to that space.
Finally, I am convinced about what the wisemen said all these years – that a child can bridge the gap between two people. Because, what I feel is so powerful that I know it would fill in those differences, those gaps, those distances, those silences; if ever they existed between two people – with a lot of ease and success. You no longer remain two individuals who happen to live under the same roof. You become two people who share the same dream. And that my friend has the potential to conquer the world together. But having said that, people will need to learn to cherish this renewed love as well. If they let it stale, time is also a powerful player to restore the existing condition and bring back the problems after a couple of years. So learn to value what you have managed to recreate and hold it as close to your heart as you would hold your child. And see how life can be so beautiful again.