It was 4AM in the morning. The couple had come back from the hospital at 7PM and since then they were at their new born princess’ service. The mother was feeding and the father was giving her company. The father was changing the nappies and the mother was supervising. And both in their hearts were praying really hard that the baby should finally fall off to sleep for at least 2 hours in a stretch.
(Ever since her birth, which was almost a week back, none of the two had slept for more than an hour in one stretch. And as the sun would set, and the evenings would turn to nights – something would trigger the baby to be more cranky, more demanding and more in need of her mother. And the new father had no choice but to give his wife company while she was awake.) And at that odd hour, both of them looked at each other, wife almost about to break down, “Is this how this is going to be? I am not sure how long I’ll be able to pull off! How did the others do it ya?”
Sooner or later, you are going to feel like this. And then this feeling is never going to leave your side. It will pop up at every other milestone, leaving you confused, upset perplexed and most often than not – depressed.
Post-partum depression is no theory – it is a reality that hits harder than ever anticipated. The strongest of women succumb to it and feel miserable to no end.
- One dislikes her body to begin with.
- Then hates the part that she cannot sleep in one stretch any more.
- Then her inability to increase the number of hours in a day to fit in all those things that she just can not find the time to do anymore.
- Then again it is her body for feeling tired all the time.
- Then it is her husband, whom once she loved so much but now just envies. (Because his life didn’t change as much)
- Then her inability to step out of the house without having to worry about the child.
- And soon it soars higher to disliking everything about her so called ‘new life’!
My shrink was telling me about really extreme cases where the mother would simply refuse to even look at the child.
What must it be that goes on in the head that the same person who gave you immense joy; the same pregnancy that you had been craving for, for the longest time – suddenly becomes the reason why you push yourself into such a dark area. That all that was once so beautiful becomes so ugly and unwanted. That little child of yours, who has no one else to go to, suddenly is at the receiving end of so much negativity. And unfortunately, you can do nothing about it. You are yourself in the trap.
But there is one thing you can do – FACE IT!!
Face your problem head on – firstly, accept that you are probably going through something that needs to be fixed. Instead of fighting with everyone, including yourself – just simply accept it. And then, get it fixed. Go to a therapist, your partner, a friend or a complete stranger on a dating app – and pour your heart out. That will immediately fix what is fundamentally wrong with your head – the orientation! Because once you will start hearing your own self talk, you will understand how is it that you are going to fix this matter. Because one thing is for sure – no one can help you but yourself. And once you decide you are going to help yourself – half the battle is won.
I am going to run a section on this blog which will talk only on post partum depression – its various expressions and resolutions.
Please do share in your comments or experiences – Let us not make motherhood a complicated feeling! Let it remain what it is supposed to be – the best thing ever!