A very close friend of mine, who happens to share my passion for writing, also got pregnant recently and agreed to write for Bumpy Miracle with me. We were both really excited about the proposition and were looking forward to a long term partnership when something in her head or heart triggered a feeling of doubt and she backed out of it. Reason being – she wanted to be cautious, didn’t want to attract unwanted attention to the unborn baby! I did a lot of talking, almost for an hour; not to convince her to collaborate but to get over such regressive thoughts. “Nazar Lagna” – that’s what it is supposed to be and I am highly against it.
Now that was yesterday and then came today . Little did I know when I woke up that this day was going be this eventful? It had a normal start, like any other day in our lives till afternoon – the baby went to sleep for his ritualistic afternoon nap (the one that we pray really hard for each day), daddy geared up for shoot in the night and momma wrote a new post. It was all going well till then. And then things just turned around. My son got up from sleep at his normal time, which was around 4.30pm and since then just couldn’t sit. The minute he would try to sit, he would fall down on the right side. Once, twice, thrice – it kept on happening. He then started crying in frustration. We intervened. When we would make him laugh or play with him, he would respond as usual. But the minute we would make him sit, he would get a pull, almost like a convulsion, and would fall on the right side. My husband started walking around the house with him, but even then, while being held in the hands, he was getting those pulls.
Now it was beginning to worry us. Random negative thoughts were coming to me. Everything from paralysis to some neuro problem to cancer to everything cropped up in my head. Though I shoved them all away – one thought stayed back longer than others – ‘Was this happening to him because I was putting up his pictures on the blog? Was it this that my friend was talking about?’ I immediately told this to my husband and he asked me to calm down. Two things he told me – one, ‘think positively and relax’; and second, ‘he wasn’t sure what it was but he was certain it wasn’t happening because I write about him.’
The point being – a child, whether still in your womb or in your arms or much later – married and settled; whatever be the case – is so precious that the best of people, the strongest of them all, also get down and defeated even with the mere thought of some threat to their lives. And the feeling is so powerful – it can drive you nuts. I was immediately reminded of the first month after my son was born and how I could just not sleep because I was afraid of him falling prey to SIDS. And I was just not prepared to lose him. I often tell my husband – I always liked the film Talaash and related to the pain the characters played by Aamir Khan and Rani Mukherjee were going through. But now, after becoming a mother myself, I relate to it to some other level. How things between two people just start to crumple down to an unfortunate and untimely end, if they lose their child.
As much as I oppose the idea of ‘Nazar Lagna’, I know it is just a sign of love. And though one must think logically about health matters related to the baby rather than just blaming the bad omen, one must not ridicule those who believe in it. It is just their way of expressing their love.
P.S. My son is back to normal with just one dose of Homeopathy (not self-prescribed, but given by my doctor.) I was told later that it was due to teething and I should not worry about it.