I once wrote a post about Missing the heart and words to describe a ‘Miscarriage’!!.
I was pregnant then, and hence the biggest fear at that point was to have a ‘miscarriage’. Ironical as it may be – for someone who had actually given a deep thought to the option of an abortion (because the pregnancy news came in very unexpected and one is contemplating about various things in life) but didn’t eventually go ahead with it because the radiologist made me hear the heartbeats.. And once you feel life so close – abortion is then not just a word or pill – it is actually a murder! And we couldn’t get the heart to do it!! And within a few months, the pregnancy became so precious – and I had seen and sketched my whole new life plan around it – that then a thought of miscarriage was the scariest nightmare ever!!
A child brings to your life that hue of light that you didn’t know existed before. As Linda Wooten says,
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed”
Having one’s child detected with some terminal illness is that one fear almost all parents live with. Very recently we had an incident, where my little one was getting some seizures, and all family members couldn’t sleep well that night. Thankfully, they turned out to be some simple neuro sensations due to teething. But we all saw too far and prayed very hard to ward off all our extreme imaginations of what all could have happened. Just the thought of having an eleven months old admitted to the Hospital with IV pierced in his body – was too much to handle. So I can imagine, what it must be – to be a mother to a child who is suffering some terminal illness. You could give your life away in the bargain to save his or hers. But that’s not how life functions. And you have no choice but to hold on strong and smile to your child every morning, every day, every minute….
We always sit down and complain about a various things in life, especially things like lack of money and time and fame and happiness. But once, if we sit down to realise what we have – we will stop cribbing and start thanking instead. Just the other day, we visited an orphanage to make some donations; and the only feeling we came back with – was deep sense of gratitude to the Universe for being gifted with a ‘family’ that loves you so much.
So, if you are surrounded by a few people who love you & they all are in the pink of their health – then wake up every morning and thank God for it.
Seeing someone you love suffer due to some terminal illness leaves behind scars too deep. Someone I know very closely didn’t just lose her mother to cancer but also the spark to live her own life. It has been many a years and she is still coping with the memories of that suffering that ultimately led to death.
So while you enjoy your new found motherhood, remember to be grateful for all those smiles every morning!!